Shadow Boxing: Round 1

Today is the first day of an interesting experiment. Well, it's the first day of the culmination of a month's worth of build up, follow up, and follow follow up.

This morning, I took what I hope will be the first step in changing the dynamic of the way my brain and I work. This is day one on Concerta.

I'm starting out with 36mg to see how it affects me. It's too early to tell, but I took the medication at 5:00 a.m. so I could be in s spot to comment on how it feels when I post this. I have to say, it's strangely... non intrusive. I don't feel much different, except for one thing. I feel less inclined to multi-task. Again, I have no idea if this is projection or wishful thinking, but I feel less "scattered" and more willing to just deal with things.

My dad and I talked about this yesterday, and he said it's highly likely I'll have one of three experiences:

1. I will likely feel a little more energetic, a bit more focused, and probably feel overall better about myself.

2. I will feel jittery and aggro, and probably not enjoy the experience very much.

3. I may not notice much of a difference at all.

Again, it's way too soon to tell, I'll probably need a month's worth of examination on my part and a follow-up with the psychiatrist to know how well we are really doing.

Overall I have to be prepared for a few things: this is not a silver bullet, and I cannot expect some magical cure. Also, the world has changed, dramatically, when I was a kid. Being a person with ADHD isn't such a stigma any longer, and coming to grips with issues and actually doing something about them tends to be seen more favorably than pretending issues don't exist, and wishing they'd just go away on their own accord. As my psychiatrist reminded me, ADHD doesn't go away. You really don't grow out of it. On the bright side, it can be treated, and at least from my initial reactions, Concerta doesn't feel like it will be all that bad. Time will tell, I guess :).